You're Hurting Me
by MaddiFic
Summary: A lot had changed since they were four years old. Years passed and the relationship between the two young boys took a turn for the worse. So what happens when a dying fire is suddenly brought to life. Because Katsuki wasn't too good at controlling his explosions and Izuku was great at self-destructing.
1. Chapter 1

"I love you!" Izuku exclaimed beaming up at Katsuki as he tackled him into a hug.

"I love you too Izuku!" Katsuki shouted back. "We should get married!"

Izuku nodded rapidly and they performed a little ceremony on the spot, toothily grinning at their awing mothers when they showed them the rings crafted from grass and flowers.

"I like you." Katsuki muttered, blushing angrily as he looked down at the trembling Izuku.

"W-what." Izuku stuttered as he cowered below Katsuki's threatening gaze.

"I said I fucking like you, fucking Deku!" Katsuki was shouting again, explosions involuntarily setting off.

A lot had changed since they were four years old. Katsuki had woken up to little puffs that resembled explosions the day after their 'wedding' while Izuku remained quirkless, even after years and years of trying to breath fire and pulling objects towards himself. Years passed and the relationship between the two young boys took a turn for the worse. Izuku was soon known as Deku, and he would limp home with new burns and bruises from his once called best friend.

While Izuku tried to accept his fate, burying his head into countless notes of heroes, Katsuki grew in strength every passing day. Those horror filled school years seemed to fly by for Izuku, and at the same time go agonizingly slow for him. He kept his head down and stayed out of trouble (trouble mainly consisting of a certain blonde haired boy with a bad temper). That was until the last couple of days of middle school.

By some miraculous string of events Izuku had met All Might, setting his life into a spiral of miracles (or disasters as some would call them). Izuku wished he could say he remembered that day clearly, but if he was going to be honest he was so overwhelmed the day was a blur. But he could remember something so clearly, almost as if it was _burned_ into his very being. He didn't know why Katsuki's eyes from that day were burned into his memory.

The eyes that held so many emotions. Maybe it was because it was the first time Izuku had seen fear displayed in Katsuki. Or maybe it was the overwhelming grief Izuku had felt in that split moment before he took off running toward the sludge moment which had held Izuku only moments ago. The grief had come from the thought that that moment could have been the last time he would ever see those eyes.

A lot of things scared Izuku; Spiders, heights, clowns. But at that moment Izuku realized what his biggest fear was. He always thought he was scared _of_ Katsuki. But it hit him then, although Katsuki shoved him and called him names on a daily basis, it wasn't him he was afraid of. It was _losing_ Katsuki that scared him the most. Scared of never seeing the stunning crimson eyes again, eyes that bore into him day after day. Scared of never hearing Katsuki shooting off at the mouth. Scared of a world without _Katsuki_ in it.

The fact was almost humorous, in love with his school bully.

The world really wasn't fair.

Izuku lived with the knowledge of his stupid, _impossible_ crush. He trained under All Might's tutoring, the weight of his newfound knowledge seemingly heavier on his shoulders then the trash he carried every day. The days truly flew by those last couple of months, and Izuku was glad of the distraction that All Might's training gave him.

Then by another miracle, Izuku and Katsuki found themselves in the same class in Yueii Academy. Izuzku's dreams were finally coming together. He made new friends, he was training to become a hero, he had a powerful quirk that enabled him to help people, he was _happy_.

It was a couple days after the U.A sports festival, when Katsuki had called Izuku's name as they walked down the entrance pathway to Yueii. Declaring his supposed feelings for Izuku.

 _I like you_

Not I love, not I hate, but _like_. Izuku was embarrassed to say that those small three words made him completely and utterly speechless. Izuku would have never even begun to _dream_ of this. Sure he had thought about confessions with Katsuki, like every school crush, but he had always imagined he would make the first move. Why would Katsuki choose _today_ to inform Izuku about this? Nothing had changed since middle school. Well except for the fact he had- _oh_.

Was it even possible for someone to be sexually attracted to quirks? Quirksexual?

Izuku could feel his face heating up, his hands shaking as he thought of his next words and his eyes trained on the floor in front of him.

"I," Izuku started, drawing out each word slowly, "c-can't accept your feeling Kacchan."

 _Idiot,_ Izuku cursed himself. Why hadn't he taken this opportunity he had spent many nights thinking about?

Exactly because he _wasn't_ an idiot. Years of physical and emotional abuse was enough to tell Izuku something about this situation didn't add up. At the moment Izuku and Katsuki were barely considered friends, they were frenemies at the best of times.

Izuku heard Katsuki swear slightly under his breath and he chanced a quick glance. Katsuki was also looking at the ground. Eyes downcast and his shoulders tense, Izuku couldn't remember the last time Katsuki looked like this.

Completely and utterly defeated.

And then as if Katsuki could feel Izuku's curious gaze he turned on his heel quickly and started walking away. Hands stuffed into his baggy jeans.

Izuku watched him go, and as he left he could only think of the other time Izuku stood in the exact same spot, watching Katsuki walk away.

 _I'm going to be number one!_

Then the pieces fell into place. He wasn't out for Izuku, he was out for his _power._ Maybe he thought he could get Izuku under his control again.

"KACCHAN!" Izuku felt himself shout. "My quirk and I aren't a prize to be won!"

Katsuki stopped in his tracks, shoulders tense and explosions burning holes into his pants.

"Not everything's about your stupid fucking quirk fucking Deku!" Katsuki shouted back without turning around. "I don't need it anyways I'm going to become number one by myself."

"Then why!" Izuku called out in desperation, voice cracking slightly. "Why after all this time? After all the pushing and name calling? The _abusing!_ "

Izuku never got an answer as Katsuki rounded the corner quickly, leaving Izuku standing there, helpless and confused.

 _Then why?_

Katsuki almost scoffed at the question. A question with a limitless answer. Yet an answer almost impossible to answer.

Katsuki loved Izuku's stupid freckles, and his dumb eyes that shone like emeralds. Katsuki loved his smile and the way it seemed to light up the room. Katsuki loved Izuku's soft hair that looked like it hadn't been brushed for days. And above all Katsuki loved the way Izuku could make him feel.

Katsuki hated Izuku's smile, the one that he wore before doing something dumb and dangerous. Katsuki hated the way Izuku put others before himself, constantly putting himself in harm way. Katsuki definitely hated the way Izuki looked at him, emerald eyes shining with an obscure mixture of pity and admiration. Katsuki hated the fact that he couldn't save Izuku. Hated the tears that kept spilling from his eyes. Katsuki absolutely hated the way Izuku could make him feel.

 _Izuku was supposed to be a pebble on the road._ So why did he seem to be a crushing weight on Katsuki's heart?

Katsuki thought about this a lot. For how long? Perhaps 7 years, maybe more. He couldn't pin it on an exact moment. The feelings cultivated through a period of time. Anger filled Katsuki when he first faced his feelings. Not only was Izuku a _boy,_ but he was also fucking _quirkless._ The endless torments Izuku suffered doubled in that time. Katsuki expressing and venting his feelings to Izuku in what seemed like the only way he knew, violence and taunting.

Katsuki didn't accept these feelings for years, focusing solely on training his body and his quirk. He didn't accept his feelings until _that_ day

"What are you doing here?!" Katsuki yelled in rage gulping in air, his lungs burning with indescribable pain. Izuku clawing desperately at the sludge monster, which held Katsuki in his grip.

 _Get back._ His next words were muted as his mouth was covered again. _You'll get hurt, stop being so goddamn heroic dammit._

The desperation in Izuku's eyes seemed to slap Katsuki out of his years' long daze. The eyes that seemed so _worried_ for him. Eyes that truly cared for him.

After the sludge monster incident whenever Katsuki looked at Izuku he felt as if the sludge monster had him in his grips again. Constricted and out of breath. Katsuki wished he could say he changed after that. Sure he had been slightly kinder after the incident as a sort of messed up thank you, but he soon reverted to his old ways.

 _The abuse._

The words Izuku had shouted at him were only a tortuous loop. Pushing, name calling, and bullying sure. But abuse? The word was similar to the others and yet it seemed on a whole other level. The word seemed to _scare_ him. Not much phased Katsuki, he wasn't afraid of anything.

Except, perhaps, for the way Izuku made him feel.

Katsuki felt pathetic, a feeling that was familiar to him, except this time it wasn't covered by the usual narcissism he hid behind. Pathetic for the fact that he had handled his crush so fucking _stupidly_. Pathetic for not knowing what to do now. Pathetic for hurting Izuku, the person he desperately wanted to protect.

Explosions danced over Katsuki's arm as he shouted in frustration, making several small children across the road scream and scatter and completely wrecking his uniform sleeves.

Katsuki reached his home quickly after that. Slamming the door behind him and quickly kicking off his shoes.

"Welcome ho- WHAT THE HELL KATSUKI WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT CLOTHES NOT GROWING ON FUCKING TRE-"Katsuki's mum, Mitsuki Bakugo's voice died down after seeing the state of Katsuki.

She watched in an almost stunned silence as she watched her son, eyes downcast and _sad_ as he trumped up the stairs. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks and stood for a couple of seconds before opening his mouth.

"Am I a bad person?"

Mitsuki was stunned, lost for words at her son's sudden change of character and the utter _helplessness_ he was displaying.

"I've really hurt a person that I really like." Katsuki continued, his head now tilted towards the ceiling. "Only villains hurt people, not heroes, heroes try to save and protect them, right."

Katsuki hated the words that came out his mouth. Hated the way they made him feel. This wasn't _him,_ but yet in a weird sense he desperately wanted it to be.

"I think." Mitsuki started turning Katsuki's chin so that he was looking at her. "That all humans make mistakes, agreed some are bigger than others. But what you do to _fix_ it is what makes you who you are."

"Fix it?" Katsuki's voice was quiet, _curious_ , as if the thought had never crossed his mind. "How?"

His mum gave a small, motherly smirk. "Well that's depends on the person, Katsuki. But make sure they know you are trying."

With a final pat on the head, an act of affection that brought back memories from his childhood, Mitsuki left the boy with is thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Katsuki wished he had waited till a Friday to confess his feelings to Izuku as he trudged up the schools entrance, which would have given him time to prepare. Katsuki had had trouble sleeping last night, and when he finally did it was fitful and ended up making him more tired. The rain this morning had also dampened his mood, his quirk weakened by the water.

 _How?_ That was the question that wouldn't let Katsuki rest. How do you make someone understand your feeling and show that you are _trying_?

He could write a love note, but even the thought of such a useless and cliché gift made him feel sick. Actually anything Katsuki thought of made him sick. Flowers, chocolate, useless pickup lines he had searched up the night before, the list went on and on. Yet nothing seemed _good_ enough.

Katsuki had never been a romantic one, and this was pulling the last strings from his sanity out. Katsuki had never felt this way about _anyone_. He had been too focused on his quirk and becoming the best hero to acknowledge anyone else. So far his life had been all about _him_ and change had never come easily to Katsuki. In fact Katsuki _hated_ change. He hated when he had moved to UA to discover he wasn't the strongest anymore, he hated when Izuku had started growing at an alarming rate, he hated when he started developing feelings for the said green haired boy.

But he had to admit, change had a thrill to it. The burning adrenalin and competiveness to be the best had only grown when he moved to UA, and he guessed UA could have been worse. Katsuki, although it had been a shock to him and although it had made him angry when Izuku had first shown his quirk, it had only given Katsuki respect for the boy. And the feelings he thought for the boy, well he didn't know yet if he liked it or not, but like hell he would let himself stuck in this stupid, what if, stage.

Maybe that's why Katsuki had confessed to Izuku. At the time he didn't really understand why he did it, he could only think about the anger that had burned in him.

You see if you had to ask Bakugou Katsuki what he hated most, he would say losing without a second thought. But this whole week had been a second and triple thought for Katsuki. _What did he hate the most?_ Well he guessed losing was still the solid first, but seeing Izuku _completely_ thrashed and defeated like that, his body shattered. Well that was a close second.

His anger had only grown when he had faced Todoroki, who had held back the entire match, which had ended in Todoroki's ultimate defeat. He had had a strange sense of _duty_ when he had fought Todoroki, and at the time Katsuki had thought it was just his desire to win against Todoroki at his best, to prove his was without any doubt the best. But he had thought it out for the next couple of days, realizing that it was a sort of revenge scheme he had wanted to give him for Izuku. And that had messed him up more than the day he accepted his true feelings. It had meant he had put Izuku over winning. Of course he had wanted to win with a burning passion, but he had wanted to prove himself to Izuku more.

 _Fuck it._ He had thought when he had seen Izuku walking down the UA entrance way, laughing and chatting with his friend. It had, in some sick sense, made Katsuki angry. How _dare_ Izuku be having fun while Katsuki was wallowing in whatever he was feeling? And then came the jealousy. Not towards Izuku having a good time, but that the people standing next to him wasn't Katsuki.

Maybe that's why Katsuki had called Izuku over, and why he had blurted his feelings out like an idiot.

The harsh shrill of the school brought Katsuki out of his thoughts, and too his surprise he had subconsciously walked all the way to class and had sat down. People were glancing at him, not bothering to mask their concern and curiosity. He gave them his best _fuck off_ glare, which, rather than backing off in fear like his middle school class would, seemed to make them more relieved.

Shota Aizawa, their homeroom teacher, had entered the classroom. His bandages were taken off and he seemed to be explaining something to the class. Katsuki, however, did not give a single shit. Katsuki normally paid attention in class, his competiveness not stopping even in the academic range. But today he could _feel_ a pair of eyes burning into the back of his head and with a swift moment he turned around ready to shoot off whatever complaint he had at the time.

But when his crimson eyes came into contact with emerald green his body faltered.

 _Make sure they know you are trying._

And with that thought in mind Katsuki spun his head around in an unnaturally fast way, heart pounding. He turned his eyes to the front of the class just in time to see the 'Pro Draft Picks'. The awkward encounter with Izuku all but flying out of his mind when he saw his name second on the board. Anger at the loss filled him as the others teased him, pushing Izuku out of his head for a couple seconds.

"Guess they were just scared of the guy who was literally chained to the winners stand." Sero scoffed.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE THE PROS DOING GETTING INTIMIDATED?!" Katsuki loudly retorted as he swung around in his seat to face Sero. But this, unfortunately allowed him to catch a glimpse of Izuku. The said boy was looking crestfallen as Mineta shook him roughly, exclaiming how Izuku had also scared off the Pros.

Katsuki looked at the board again, searching for the green haired boy's name, in vain. Izuku's name was not present even though he had made the top 8. Katsuki's hand clenched angrily, his shoulders stiffening. _I'll show the pros who they should really be afraid of._

Just as the ruckus among the class was reaching maximum the door slammed open, revealing the lady Katsuki knew by Midnight, a pro hero who was acclaimed for her amazing fighting skills and scandalous outfits. And today was no exception. All the heads turned, male and female alike, as Midnight strode into the room. Katsuki, however only gave Midnight a passing glance as he passed back the sheets that they would write their names on. Except no one took it out of his hands. Curious, Katsuki turned around and looked at the other boy.

Izuku seemed frozen on the spot, staring at Katsuki's outstretched hand.

 _Try._

And with that Katsuki tried to put on the kindest face he could.

"Everything okay?" His voice was rasp, but even Katsuki was surprised how soft he sounded.

Izuku jerked sharply and took the papers quickly passing them on and burying his head in his own.

Maybe Katsuki didn't like all this kindness thing, but he was going to be damned if he didn't give it a shot. So he surveyed Izuku's face and expression, but it confused him.

Izuku showed so much emotion he couldn't figure out the main one.

Embarrassment, smugness, happiness, anger, sadness.

Katsuki turned back to the front and looked down at his paper, distracting himself from the next onslaught of thoughts and worries.

 _What hero did he want to be?_ Like many other children, whether they wanted to become a hero or not, Katsuki had brainstormed many hero names. Katsuki wanted to be the strongest hero, the top dog, he knew what type of hero he wanted to be since he was young. So without any thought he had written the name he had thought of as a child.

Katsuki had missed the couple of people in front of him, so after Koda, Katsuki took the stage. He quickly flipped his paper over.

"King Explosion Murder!" Katsuki said with all the confidence he could muster. The room suddenly fell silent.

"No good." Midnight declared, voice mixed with amusement and disbelief.

"What the hell!?" Katsuki shouted as the classroom exploded into laughter and playful taunts. He angrily stomped back to his desk, barley glancing at the boy who had completely occupied his thoughts for the past couple of hours. He started theorizing new names, _Lord_ Explosion Murder the next on his list.

He wasn't aware that Izuku had even taken the stage until a startled Ojiro exclamation of 'Are you sure about that, Midoriya!?' reached his ears. His eyes shot up to meet the board held in Izuku's hand.

 _Deku._

The words seemed to mock him as he read them, reminding him of everything he had done.

"I always hated it." He lifted his eyes up further and made eye contact with Izuku who seemed to be glaring holes back at him. "But then someone helped me see it in a new light. It took me by surprise but it made me happy."

Although these words were directed at someone else Izuku did not break eye contact with Katsuki. This was the most confident he had ever seen Izuku, and honestly it scared him. The fire that was burning in Izukus's eyes terrified him. And once again the fear and doubt buried deep inside of him, is this what he wanted? If so then he knew he had to change himself, change the relationship with the boy, make it up to Izuku. If not then what would happen when he took a giant leap and it ended in pain.

But those eyes.

The ones that seemed to bore into him were so different from the ones in their old school. These eyes looked so _alive_ and _happy_. Katsuki was so goddamn jealous, _he_ wanted to be the one who sparked that fire in Izuku.

"I'm no longer the useless deku who can't do anything right." Izuku declared, unbeknownst to the others in the class that he was issuing a challenge to a certain blonde haired boy. "I'm the deku who gives it his all!"

 _Watch me Katsuki, I'm growing, changing, you no longer control who I am. Maybe you should try it too. Catch me Katsuki or I'll leave you in my dust_.

 _This is who I am, is this what you want? If it is catch up._

Katsuki glanced down, smirking down at his board. It was a good thing that Katsuki was competitive as _hell_.

"Okay!" Midnight said clapping her hands. "Now the only person left is Bakugou's rethink."

Katsuki looked down at his board one last time before walking up to the stage.

When he lift up the board the entire class went deathly silent with shock.

Katsuki had always asked himself what type of hero he wanted to be but never _who_ he wanted to be. He didn't know why he had struggled with this for this many years when the answer was right in front of him. And when he looked at the blazing emerald eyes in front of him he made his choice. He wanted to be someone _to_ Izuku and _only_ Izuku.

So as he looked at Izuku, holding a sign that proudly read _Kacchan,_ he tried to convey his feelings.

 _This is me trying Izuku. I'm ready to start the chase._


End file.
